Bard Epic - Singing Short Sword Quest Walkthrough Introduction
The bard Epic is the Singing Short Sword, a very uber bard weapon with great stats and a triggered proc that gives the effect Dance of the Blade - a full party buff that adds 55% haste, 30 strength, 30 attack and lasts for 2 minutes and 30 seconds and has a range of about 150 feet. The weapon gives the same bonus to instrument songs that a store bought instrument would. It also gives an 80% bonus to some songs that were previously only singing skill. This particle weapon has the stunning visual effect of blue musical notes floating around and trailing the wielder of the weapon. Drooling already? Read on and learn how to get your Epic weapon!



The Bard Epic quest starts and ends in the Dreadlands. You talk to a guy named Baldric Slezaf located in the area near the Druid and Wizard portals, inside one of the pyramids in the ancient ruins. His location is 773, 9666. Talk with him and he will tell you about two missing pages from his symphony and an instrument to play it on. If you bring him the items he talks about, he will give you your reward - the Singing Short Sword.

The items that Baldric requests come in four different pieces:
1. Page 24 Top
2. Page 24 Bottom
3. Page 25
4. Lute made by Forper Fizfla

You say, 'hail Baldric Slezaf'
Baldric Slezaf says 'Hello Kocho. Don't you think this would be a wonderful place to perform a symphony?
You say, 'What symphony?'
Baldric Slezaf says 'It has been my dream for years to perform a symphony that would be remembered for ages to come. I have run into a few minor snags, however.
You say, 'What snags?'
Baldric Slezaf says 'Several years ago I bought sheets of the most beautiful sounding music from a traveling merchant. He did not know the author of the work as it was simply signed 'the Maestro'. The melody I played from them was wondrous and invoked feelings in me I have never felt before. However, as I reached the middle of the music, I discovered it was missing two pages!
You say, 'What pages?'
Baldric Slezaf says 'The pages that were missing were pages 24 and 25. I have been searching the world for a spot to hold my symphony and I have finally found it. Without the music and a new lute crafted by the famous instrument maker Forpar Fizfla, I do not think I can pull it off.
You say, 'Who is Forpar Fizfla?'
Baldric Slezaf says 'Forpar Fizfla is an eccentric instrument maker from Ak'Anon. He makes enchanted instruments that enhance the sound of the music. If I am to perform the concert of all concerts, I must have one of his instruments. I went to Ak'Anon, seeking to purchase an instrument from him but he wouldn't even speak to me.
You say, 'What music?'
Baldric Slezaf says 'It makes me sad to know that the pages of this music may be spread across the world or destroyed. If you find and bring me the two missing sheets as well as a new lute, I would be happy to repay you in some way.
You say, 'How will you repay me?'
Baldric Slezaf pulls a fantastic looking sword from its scabbard and says, 'I might be willing to part with this wonderful sword if I were able to perform this symphony. You would also gain recognition at the opening of the symphony.' Baldric sheathes his sword and begins to hum a haunting melody.

Page 24 Top
The first part of the quest can easily be done yourself, even at a very early level, as it simply requires you to run a relay race across Antonica. It starts in West Karana with the bard Konia Swiftfoot in Guard Tower 1. She will send you off on the relay race carrying a torch to various people within Antonica. Talk to Konia and your race will begin...

[Find Konia Swiftfoot in West Karana inside Guard Tower 1 at loc (-516, -2434).]
You say: "Hail Konia Swiftfoot"
Konia Swiftfoot says: "Hello there Kocho. I am hosting a relay running contest. Would you like to participate?"
You say: "Yes I would like to participate."
Konia Swiftfoot says: "Great! The prize will be this silly old music sheet. Let me know when you are ready and I will pass you the torch and tell you where the first stop is."
You say: "I am ready."
Konia Swiftfoot says: "Here you go. Run with this torch as fast as you can to the misty thicket and hand this torch off to Fajio Knejo. He will tell you where to go from there. Hurry! You do not have much time!"
[You will receive the torch.]

[Arrive in Misty Thicket near the entrance to Runneyeye Citadel. You will find Fajio Knejo at loc (-120, -54).]
You say: "Hail Fajio Knejo."
Fajio Knejo says: "Greetings, Kocho. I hope you are having a fine day."
[Hand Torch to Fajio]
Fajio Knejo says: "Run onward, my friend, to the far off Desert of Ro and give this torch to Andad Filla."
[Receive another Torch]

[Arrive in the Southern Desert of Ro near the Innothule Swamp. Find Andad Filla at loc (-3032, 1216).]
You say: "hail Andad Filla"
Andad Filla says: "Hello traveler, please do not bother me right now I am waiting for someone."
[Hand Torch to Andad]
Andad Filla says: "You still have a ways to go! Seek out Misty Tekcihta near the arena at Lake Rathe. Run like the wind!"

[Arrive in Lake Rathe outside the entrance to the Arena. Find Misty Tekcihta at loc (2419, 2583).]
You say: "Hail Misty Tekcihta"
Misty Tekcihta smiles and taps her foot.
[Hand Torch to Misty]
Misty Tekcihta hands you a small ring.
[Receive Proof of Speed ring]

[Arrive in West Karana at Tower 1 and talk to Konia again.]
You say: "hail Konia Swiftfoot"
Konia Swiftfoot says: "Hello there Kocho. I am hosting a relay running contest. Would you like to participate?"
[Hand Proof of Speed ring to Konia]
Konia Swiftfoot says: "Excellent! You are quite a runner. Here is half of the sheet music. I decided to keep the other half because it has this wonderful signature. I think it might be quite valuable. It is probably worth as much as an instrument the great Mahlin used."
[Receive Maestro's Symphony Page 24 Top]
Page 24 Bottom
To get the bottom half of you need to give Konia Swiftfoot Mahlin's Bongos. Talk to Braenar Swiftsong. Braenar is located in South Karana next to the well at loc (-21, 88). He will give you an invoice after you ask "What doll". (If you have any info on how a bard knew to talk about a doll, please let me know.)

Detail on Braenar and his daughter Serra - New additional page!

You say, 'hail Baenar Swiftsong'
Baenar Swiftsong says 'Please, I am trying to work here. If you bother me I will write a horrible song about you and sing it from the mountain tops!
You say, 'what doll'
Baenar Swiftsong says 'What's that you say? You wish to have the doll I was to give her? Whatever for? Bah! Nevermind me. I rant like an old woman sometimes. I should let her memory go but I would stop my heart from beating before I forget that child. Here, take this invoice. I have no further use for it. Give it to Marfen Binkdirple.

Go to Solusek A and give the gnome vendor, Marfen the invoice and you will receive a doll. Marfen is the same vendor who sells the Tinkerer's bags, he is found at loc (-304, -1083).

Marfen Binkdirple says 'Ah! 'Bout time ye got yer lazy bones down here! I was beginnin' ta worry bout ya. Thought ye'd never pick the doll up. Me kin worked and toiled over this thing fer days. That Baenar was sure exact in every detail. For a special child, he said. Must be some child. He spent all he had and some he didn't. Still owes us a show! Anyway, I heard she passed away some time ago. Give the lad muh regards.

Take the doll to the Estate of Unrest and give the doll to Serra, who is next to the gnomish speulunker. She can be found by going through a underwater channel at the right side of the zone. Serra will give you a note.

Serra says 'Oh! You have the dolly! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I can go home now. Please give this to my father, Baenar. He will understand when he gets it.' Serra begins to fade away. 'Bye bye!'

Then take the note from Serra back to Braenar, who will give a new note for Maligar.

Baenar Swiftsong says 'A note from the child? How can that be! How could she know I was her father? Unless? Cyrah told her. Forgive me. Cyrah was the name of the woman to whom I was betrothed. Unfortunately her parents forbade her from marrying a lowly bard such as myself. Her father married her off to a young merchant in Qeynos named Maligar. She married him only out of respect to her father. Her heart was truly mine, at least, so she always said. When Serra was born, I visited them both often. She was like no other, so innocent and sweet. In those few years I watched her grow up to be more and more like her mother and I saw none of the father in her appearance. I do not like Maligar, but the least we can do is inform him of his child's death. I saw his caravan pass by not more than a day ago headed to Qeynos.

Take the note from Braenar to Maligar. Maligar is found in West Karana at loc (1179, -10878). His spawn is every 30 minutes or so, not bad, if you mess up (turn the head into the wrong guy), you can try again in a bit. After you give Maligar the note, he will spawn his Maligars Enraged Doppleganger.

Side Note: This part of the quest was broken early April 2001, but is reported to have been fixed.

Maligar says 'Hmmm. What's this? A note from that silly bard Baenar? I wasn't aware that those of his kind could write, much less read.' Maligar lets out a deep laugh. 'I see you do not share my sense of humor. Let's read it, shall we? Oh, no! She's dead? I knew that already, you fool. It was by my hand she died! Ooops! Did I let that slip out? Silly me. I guess I will have to kill you now!'

Maligar and his whole camps faction can be changed using lvl 11 song, Cinda's Charismatic Carillon. I was told at the time to charm him, so my experience is below...

When I killed Maligar and his Doppleganger, it was myself, a 47 bard, a 51 bard, a 53 wizzie, and a 45 druid. We pulled Maligar's friends first, who went down easily one by one. They do not aggro if you pull one by one. Then we charmed Maligar, ordered him to sit down, his Doppleganger spawned, and even though I was twisting resist songs, we still were blinded. I did resist the Fear spell though. I had my chants memmed, since I knew I was going to be blinded, so I had my target, and hopefully was able to get him a few times with my DoTs. From what I heard from the druid helping us, was that the Doppleganger was smart and blinded everyone he could. It was a very close fight, we brought him down though, and then charmed Maligar again, and got our second Maligar Doppleganger's head.

Once you kill the doppleganger, loot his head. Unless you want to kill Maligar, you can run at this point to the zone.

Take the head back to Braenar and recieve "Mahlin's Bongo's".

Baenar Swiftsong says 'That vile dog! I knew there was something not right with him, the way he stared at everyone with contempt! Even his own wife! I curse him! I curse him to stay upon the realm and deny him what he most desires! This is too much! I cannot play or write this day. The sadness overwhelms me. In honor of Serra, the daughter that was denied to me in spirit, I vow never to play this instrument again! It was her favorite and she listened to me play for hours on end. Here take it! Take it out of my sight! Leave me be with my grief and my loss.

Take the Bongo's to Konia Swiftfoot in West Karana to get the bottom of Page 24. Konia Swiftfoot says 'Mahlin's bongos! Here, take the other half of the sheet music. I can not really make out what the signature was anyway.

Page 25
To get Page 25, go to South Karana and talk to the wood-elf bard named Kelkin Mekia, she is between the centaurs and treants along the zone line that is a "drop-off". She needs the strings for her lute. The items she needs to make the strings for her lute are as follows:
1. Guts from a named chromatic drake in Skyfire Mountains - Eldric the Old: about level 51 and he summons
2. Guts from the named red wurm in Burning Woods - drops off named wurms Nezekezena and Phurzikon
3. Guts from the Huge Oynx Drake in Rathe Mountains - Blackwing: level 40 something
A few notes regarding these 3 guts:

To get the Red Wurm Gut you need to kill one of the named wurms in the Burning Woods - either Nezekezena or Phurzikon. Both will be high 40's to 51 in level, so at level 51, they can summon you and gate. Both these spawn at location (-470, -2550), so if you camp the spawn, you should be fine if they decide to gate back. A full group of low 50's can kill these wurms. Something spawns every two minutes, whether it be a PH or a Nekekezena or a Phurzikon...
This is also a great camp for some fast experience, as the spawn time is 2 minutes, and there are lots of wanderers. You could convince a mage to camp it with you, as they also need the Burnt Embers for their epic, which is a much rarer drop.


Blackwing in Rathe Mountains will spawn spawn after clearing out the drakes in that area. It is the south-western part of the zone, and will spawn out of the loc (-1700, -15). Keep killing everything that spawn at this loc, including drakes and basalisks, and you will get Blackwing within an hour or so. Be very careful of the named drakes in this area. Zazamouhk, an evil enchanter sphinx and her pet are up on the hill but don't seem to move around much. She is around level 40. If you are agnostic and wear your Dark-elf illusion, you can go right up to her. Rharzar, however, is a level 55 green drake. Every bard I talked to that has camped Blackwing has been killed by Rharzar, including myself, he hit me so fast I couldn't even run one step. If you have him on tracking and are alone, do your best to avoid him, or come back another day. He is for the SK epic, so convince an SK in your guild to join you and bring a few groups down to kill Rharzar.

Stay at the spawn spot mentioned above and you should be fine. You can chant-kite Blackwing, or melee him. At level 47, I discovered that I could melee these drakes easily.

Eldric the Old in Skyfire Mountains has a spawn spot of loc (500, -4000). Eldrig is a named Chromodrac, level 51. He will cast spell on you, but will dispell it right away.

Go north from the OT zone until you hit the spot. Every 15 minutes a mob will spawn, and start walking towards OT. If nothing is spawning, you must track down the placeholder and kill it before the spot will start re-spawning. Once this is accomplished, Eldric will spawn regularly. I am not positive that this is the only spawn spot of Eldrig. I have seen him up once, and he walks a path from this spot to the Burning Woods zone and back.

When I finally found him up, my group fear kited him. I played my fear song, and fear song only. He went down quickly. We had 2 bards (levels 51 and 53), 53 warrior, 53 cleric, and 57 druid.

More details to come as I finish this part of the quest... Please send me more info if you have it.

Give the three guts back to Kelkin in South Karana and you will get page 25.

Forpar's Lute
Baldric Slezaf tells you that Forpar Fizla has this lute but will not speak to him. You must get this lute as your final item to return to Baldric. This is rewarded as head, neck, body and strings.

Forpar Fizla is unwilling to talk to you and even other gnomes. To get him to talk you help his friend, a female half elf bard named Vedico at the docks in Butcherblock.

Vedico Windwisper may be found on the docks in Butcherblock inside one of the shops at loc (1010, 3010). She lost her horn to a cyclops named Quag Maelstrome in the Ocean of Tears. If you kill him, you will get the "Alluring Horn" which you then return to Vedico in Butcherblock.

You say, 'hail Vedico Windwisper'
Vedico Windwisper says 'Hello Kocho . Have you seen the port master? I am here to complain about the shoddy service.
You say, 'What shoddy service?'
Vedico Windwisper says 'I was sailing from Freeport on one of the boats when a giant cyclops attacked the boat! No one lifted a finger as he stole the horn I was playing and ran off. Someone here has to answer for the loss of my horn.
You say, 'what giant cyclops?'
Vedico Windwisper says 'He was a huge cyclops! He came rushing up out of the water and stared at me with his big eye and said, 'Me like horn me take and play pretty music!' before he snatched my horn and disappeared back under the waves.

Find Quag Maelstrom in the Ocean of Tears on the Seafury Cyclops island. I was all prepared to solo chant-kite him (I was 49 at the time), when a 45 shaman wanted to help me out. I knew I didn't need his help, but thought it couldn't hurt. We found Quag at loc (1914, -6600). He was blue to me, and I could see him carrying my horn, it was very obvious. The shaman buffed me all up quite nicely, and gave me a sow and a levitate. The cyclops island is crowded with cyclops of course, so I pulled him to a nearby island. I quickly found he could run almost as quick as sow, so I just kept running round and round the island, chanting at him all the way. The shaman sicced his pet on Quag's behind. Looking back, it was quite humorous. Quag kept casting mana drains at me, which I resisted all but one, not that it affected my bardic mana anyway. A few times he was able to hit me, but I cast snare on him, which fixed that. When Quag did hit me, he hit anywhere from 30 to 117 points damage, but he didn't get close to me for the most part, only when I was dumb enough to turn around and look at him. I did use my Denon's Desperate Dirge, which hit him for 363 points damage. The entire fight took less than 7 minutes, and he dropped the Alluring Horn, a Pearl Necklace, and 4 plat.

Take the horn back to Vedico in Butcherblock and she will then give you a note to give to Forpar.

Vedico Windwisper says 'Where did you find this? I thought the cyclops took it. I am in your debt Kocho. This horn has always been special to me.'
Vedico reaches into her pack and pulls out a note.
'Do you think you could deliver this to my gnome friend Forpar. I have not spoken to him in a while and unfortunatly I will be unable to make the trip to visit him. If you are looking to have an instrument made he is the man to ask.

Head to Steamfont Mountains and find Forpar Fizfla hanging out in one of the windmills. His loc is (128, -600). He was apprehensive to me, so I had to use Cinda's Charismatic Carillion and then he was amiable to me. Hand him the note from Vedico and he talks about his mystical lute he can make.

You say, 'hail Forpar Fizfla'
Forpar Fizfla says 'Get out you pesky Half Elf! I don't need any Half Elf germs! Out, ye filthy beast!
[Play Cinda's Charismatic Carillion. Once he takes a liking to you, hand him your note.]
Forpar Fizfla judges you amiably -- looks like he would wipe the floor with you!
Forpar Fizfla says 'So you know Vedico! How is the lass? If Vedico would give you the time of day, you must be something special. What can I do for you? I hope you have not come to have me make another [mystical instrument].
You say, 'what mystical instrument?'
Forpar Fizfla says 'I have made many mystical instruments in the past. Each one seemed to be better then the last. I have always had a dream of building the world's best lute, but I have yet to find someone brave enough to gather the components needed to make the instrument.
You say, 'i can gather components'
Forpar Fizfla says 'To make a mystical lute I will first need to make several pieces. If you bring me the backbone of an ancient fishman, a strong tentacle from one of the long lost amalgyms, and a petrified skull of a lycanthrope I may be able to create the head and neck of the instrument. If you go out and gather these things, make sure to bring me the note I gave you or I might forget who you are. I am getting quite old, you know.
[Receive Forpar's note.]

Mystical Lute Head

This is the next big part of the quest. Forpar tells you he is willing to make you an instrument, but only tells you how to make the Neck and Head of the instrument. From what he says above, the list of items he needs includes:
1. Backbone of an Ancient Fishman - Phinigel Autropos's spine from Kedge Keep
2. Amalgym Tentacle - Amygdalan Tendril from Plane of Fear
3. Petrified skull of a Lycanthrope - Petrified werewolf skull from Karnor's Castle on Drolvarg Warlord
Backbone of an Ancient Fishman - Off Phinigel Autropos in Kedge Keep

Phinigel Autropos requires a very well-organized couple of groups to take down, and be sure and bring a good puller with you. If the pull is not 100% successful Phinny might bring some Swirlspine Guardians with him. Our 28th level Pixie Strike mezz will not work on the adds, so you need to have the 53th level song to mezz, or bring along an enchanter.

It is recommended that the best combination of songs to mem for the Phinigel raid (if you have them) are: 55 Occlusion of sound, 53 Song of Twilight, 55 Cantana Replenishment and 3 Jaxon's Jig of Vigor. Of course keep the Enduring Breath song memmed as well just in case. The Occlusion of Sound is very useful in stripping the seahorses and Phinigel of their Magic resistance. The casters are better able to land their nukes. When the monk is pulling do not play songs as it will aggro more than one mob. If two or more come you will have to mez, but if the pull is successful, only one or two mobs will come. You might either spend the raid debuffing Phinny and his seahorses, or mezzing the adds.

Our guild has killed him 25 times, and only 3-4 times has a Phinny Spine drop. Two groups seemed to be sufficient but a high level bard or enchanter is a must just in case the pull brings back Phinnie and friends. My guild also has some recommendations on their resistances and strategies to take them down, but our forum was deleted, so I will have to look these up again.

I do not have first-hand info on the Amalgym Tentacle nor the Petrified Skull, so please send me what information you have. I got my Skull from a train in KC where my group picked the Drolvarg Warlord off and killed him. Drolvarg Warlord is around level 53-54.

Please send information if you have it regarding the rest of this quest... I have not done this part first-hand, so I will need the text from the conversation with Forpar from here on.


Take all 3 items and the note back give to Forpar and he gives you back the Mystical Lute Head (a single item containing the head and neck of the lute).

Body of Mystical Lute

When you receive your Head and Neck from Forpar, he will give you the quest for the body, which requires the following items:
1. Large red Dragon Scale - Talendor of Skyfire, Lord Nagafen or Ragefire in Naggy's Lair, or Nortlav Scalekeeper in The Hole
2. Large white Dragon Scale - Gorenaire of Dreadlands or Lady Vox's
3. Metal bit (smithed metal bit)


Mystical Lute Strings

Finally, get the strings for the Lute - Trakanon Gut Strings. These drop from Trakanon himself (Level 65 dragon in Sebilis). There have been some recent changes to the quest. It seems that the Trak guts no longer drop from the regular Trakanon. You get another spawn of Trakanon to spawn by talking to the Undead Bard. The undead bard spawns 18 +/- 4 hours after Trakanon is killed. You turn in the lute body to him. He returns the lute body, becomes enraged, he needs to be killed (don't know his details off hand, but it's not unlike triggering ragefire). He is around level 55. When the enraged undead bard is killed, Trakanon spawns. This spawned Trakanon is not as strong as the regular Trak, I believe this is mostly due to not being buffed by jumpy. He drops Trak guts 100% of the time, and also drops a Trakanonian BP (random) but no teeth.

Also, a new update to the quest is that Nortlav Scalekeeper is a new source of red scales, he is in the Hole, same room as Master Yael, and he lifetaps and stuff.

Finally, give the following lute parts plus the note to Foplar to receive the complete Mystical Lute:
1. Mystical Lute Head
2. Body
3. Gut strings
The last point, if you are chaining any part of the magical flute, make sure the person you are chaining with has good gnome faction. If they do no have good gnome faction, make sure you bring an enchanter to charm Forpar. Charming works and so does multiquesting with Forpar.
The Reward!
You are almost there. To get your singing short sword give following items to Baldric Slezaf:
1. Top of page 24
2. Bottom of page 24
3. Page 25
4. Mystical lute from Foplar
He will reward you with the Singing Short Sword!

Most of the pieces required for the Singing Short Sword are quite easy for a high-40's/50's bard and can be done alone. You will need 1-2 good groups in the 50's for some of the items. You might want friends to help with Maligar, and will want a good group to get your Petrified Werewolf skull and Burning Woods and Skyfire guts. You will want a few good groups to get your Phinigel spine. You'll need lots of help to get your scales, especially the white scale and the trak guts.

If you have anything to contribute to the guide, please Contact me. Thank you, and GOOD LUCK getting your epic!!!


Quest Guide Contributors:
Kocho Divah
Tunela Deeda
Truheart Puretone



~info from www.eqdivas.com~


Welcome from Druzzil Ro Bards of Norrath unite!










Sunday, November 04, 2001 5 bards singing in a quintet online

Bard Songs

Level Song Name Description Target Skill
1 Chant of Battle Increases STR(5-25), DEX(5-25), and AC(1-7) for entire group G P

2 Chords of Dissonance Damage over time (2-51 per tick) to all creatures within range of the song. O S

3 Jaxon's Jig of Vigor Group Stamina regeneration, very useful in long fights, or when fighting underwater. Twist it in your mix now and then when stamina goes below 3 bubbles. G P

4 Lyssa's Locating Lyric Allows the bard to select a target, and automatically point toward's target's corpse. Each tick will repoint you in the right direction. Corpse must be in same zone in order to be located. T V

5 Selo's Accelerando Increase movement speed G P

6 Hymn of Restoration Increases hitpoint regeneration of entire group by 4 to 19 hitpoints per tick. Stacks with all other regeneration spells, except the Cantana line. G S

7 Jonathan's Whistling Warsong Increases ATK speed by 16-35%, STR by 8 to 35 points, and AC by 3 to 9 points; Great song if you wish to solo, otherwise, play a different song S V

8 Kelin's Lugubrious Lament Reduces targets aggro range. Pretty neat song to break a spawn and pick off mobs one by one. More effective if you use your lute. T S

9 Elemental Rhythms Increases Fire, Cold, Magic Resistances (11 to 56), adds minor AC (2 to 7), for entire group G P

10 Anthem de Arms Increases STR (10-35) and haste (attack speed by 10%) for entire group G V

11 Cinda's Charismatic Carillon Increases faction by one or two faction rankings with an NPC. Affects all NPCs with that faction in the zone. Great for getting better prices in buying and selling, and opens up quest opportunities. This song only improves faction ratings of some NPCs that are dubious or higher. Certain NPCs and KOS NPCs are unaffected by this song. T W

12 Brusco's Boastful Bellow Direct Damage to target (7-31), and knockback to PCs T V

13 Purifying Rhythms Increases Poison, Disease, and Magic Resistances (11 to 56), adds minor AC (2 to 7), for entire group G P

14 Lyssa's Cataloging Libertto Identifies an item held on the mouse cursor. Comes in handy when you need to know additional information for quest items. T V

15 Kelin's Lucid Lullaby Area Effect mesmerize. Lulls a maximum of 4 targets at a time. Mobs will nod off and remain so until song fades or when attacked. O S

16 Tarew's Aquatic Ayre Allows entire group to breath underwater. Nice to play when trying to increase your swimming skill, who knows when you'll fall off that boat! Useful when fighting underwater such as in Kedge Keep. G W

17 Guardian Rhythms Increases Magic Resistance and AC (13 to 56), adds minor AC (3 to 12), for entire group G P

18 Denon's Disruptive Discord Area Effect - DoT, Lower AC; Deals 20-30 damage per tick, reduces AC by 10-30 points. Careful of the taunt effect this song provokes. O B

19 Shauri's Sonorous Clouding Invisibility, See Invisble for entire group; Useful when exploring unfamiliar territory. Too bad you can't twist it with any other song, like Selos. G W

20 Cassindra's Chant of Clarity Similar to Enchanter's Breeze, this song will increase mana regeneration rate by 2 per tick. G V

20 Largo's Melodic Binding AE - Lowers AC (10-15) and attack speed (by 15-35%); Will not bother mesmerized mobs. O V

21 Melanie's Mellifluous Motion Randomly teleports each group member. Each member gets flung somewhere else. G W

22 Alenia's Disenchanting Melody Removes one spell effect per tick; It will remove both positive and negative effects, starting with the first buff. G S

23 Selo's Consonant Chain Target: Slow movement (53-100%) and attack speed (16-35%); Will slow both the movement and attack speed of the mob and will root it towards the end of a fight. Now stacks with other slow-down spells. T V

24 Lyssa's Veracious Concord Party Ultravision, See Invisible; Pretty neat when you fire up this song at night for the humans, barbarians, and erudites in your group; G W

25 Psalm of Warmth Increases Cold Resistance(35-60) and AC, and fire-based damage shield (4-9pts damage), and Infravision to entire group G V

26 Angstlich's Appalling Screech AE Fear; Useful as an escape tool, but use with caution, the mobs will come back very angered, and may bring friends O B

27 Solon's Song of the Sirens Charms the target and turns it into your pet for up to 15 seconds. Highly dependent on your charisma. Will not work on 37+ mobs, but there is a charm upgrade by then. High aggro effect, but you can turn that into your advantage when the mob is aggroing on a caster. Useful when your party pulls more than 1 mob, put one on your side! T W

28 Crisson's Pixie Strike Mesmerize (up to 15 seconds), lower magic resistance (up to 20 points), knock-back effect to target T W

29 Psalm of Vitality Increases Disease Resistance (39-60) and AC for entire group. Chance to cure disease at each pulse. Useful when fighting against necromancer mobs. G V

30 Fufil's Curtailing Chant DoT(18-28) and decreases magic resistance(9-11) to target; Great song to pull with, with its range being longer than Bellow, and twist in now and then for the magic resistance debuff. T P

31 Agilmente's Aria of Eagles Levitation for entire group. Limited Range, so either don't use with party members, or tell them to follow you at their own risk! G W

32 Cassindra's Chorus of Clarity Increases Mana Regeneration Rate for entire party (except the bard). Regenerates mana at a rate of 7 mana per pulse. Stay close to the casters, as the range on this is limited. May be stacked with other mana regeneration spells such as Clarity and level 34 bard song Cantana of Soothing. G V

33 Psalm of Cooling Increases Fire Resistance (43-60) and AC, and cold-based damage shield (4-9pts damage) and Ultravision for entire group G V

34 Cantata of Soothing Regeneration of mana, hitpoints, and stamina simultaneously. Regens mana at about 5 hitpoints per tick, and hitpoints and stamina at about 4-16 hitpoints per tick. If you tired of twisting mana song and Hymn between fights, its nice to equip your lute and fire up this song. G S

34 Lyssa's Solidarity of Vision Allows you to see through the eyes of the target. T W

35 Denon's Dissension Area Effect Direct Mana Drain (20-25 points); Not too useful against NPCs due to their large mana pool... O B

36 Villa's Verses of Celerity Increases Agility (23-35) and Haste (attack speed by 20%) for entire group. Stacks with other haste items, but not Enchanter/shaman haste spells. G V

37 Psalm of Purity Increases Poison Resistance (by 46-60) and AC, chance to cure poison G V

38 Tuyen's Chant of Flame Fire based Target DoT, equipped with drum yields incredible results, Reduces fire resistance by 10-15 points T P

39 Solon's Bewitching Bravura Charms target up to 18 seconds. Lowers target's magic resistance. This is the upgrade to Solon's Song of the Sirens. Only works on mobs below level 55. T W

40 Syvelian's Anti-Magic Aria Cancel one magic effect per pulse from target, removes both positive and negative effects. T V

41 Psalm of Mystic Shielding Increases Magic Resistance(51-70), HP Regen (5pts per tick), AC(5-6) for entire group G V

42 McVaxius Berserker Crescendo Increases STR(15-30), and Haste(Attack speed by 20%) and AC for entire group. G B

43 Denon's Desperate Dirge Area Damage up to 4 targets. Deals 311 to 481 points damage. Uses 800 mana. Now scales more appropriately with levels by increasing by 10 damage each level. A V

44 Cassindra's Elegy INT and WIS boost for entire group; Starts at 12 INT and WIS G V

45 Jonathan's Provocation 45% haste, STR(13-17) S V

46 Tuyen's Chant of Frost Target Dot, starting at 17 points per tick sung, and 38 with tambourine; excellent damage with drum equipped, Decrease Cold Resistance(15-20) T P

47 Niv's Melody of Preservation Increase STR(10-24), ATK(10-24), Regeneration(6-17 hp per tick); Damage Absorption against magic attack (10-20) G S

48 Selos' Chords of Cessation AE Decrease Attack Speed (7-20%), and DoT(15-50 hp damage per tick) O S

49 Shield of Songs Group Damage Absorption (prevents x points damage per tick); Absorbs both magic and melee attack. This song starts at a 20 damage point rune sung, 40 points with lute. Increases with level, averaging about 70-80 points. G S

50 Melody of Ervaj Group Increase AC(10), Increase Haste (about 5%); This haste does stack with other haste spells/songs/items G B

50 Verses of Victory Increases STR(30), AGI(30), AC(21), Attack speed (30%) for entire group G V

51 Largo's Absonant Binding Decrease AC by (65), AGI by (45-55), Attack speed(20-35%), movement speed (-52-61%) T V

51 Selo's Song of Travel Increases Movement Speed(66-75%), group Invisibility, See invisible, Levitate for entire group; only used outdoors; Essentially an Invisibility-type spell with the extra functions(speed, see invis, levitate). If you are attacked while traveling, the entire effect will wear off until next pulse. G P

52 Nillipus' March of the Wee Increase 14 AC, 18 AGI starting at level 52 when sung, and 32 AC and 43 AGI starting with Selos Drum G P

53 Song of Dawn Lowers the bard's position on the enemy's hate list; Unresistable T W

53 Song of Twilight Target: Mesmerize; Decrease MR (15) more with wind instrument; Knocks mob opposite direction bard is facing; Upgrade to Crission's Pixie Strike, and less resisted than its predecessor. Caution: Will override Enchanter's mesmerize spells T W

54 Selo's Assonant Strane AE debuff; Decreases movement speed by 45%, attack speed by (20-25)%. O S

54 Vilias's Chorus of Celerity Group Haste (45%); Will not stack if tanks are already at maximum attack speed limit. G V

55 Brusco's Bombastic Bellow Target 8 second Stun and DD 222hp; Unfortunately song is easily resisted T V

55 Cantata of Replenishment Group Regeneration Increase of Healing (8 points per tick), Mana (12 points per tick), and Stamina (10 points per tick); Upgrades both Hymn and Cassindra's Chorus of Clarity. Worthwhile to play bothduring battle and downtime. G S

55 Occlusion of Sound Target:Decreases MR, CR, FR; Unresistable; Lowers resistances by about 20 with normal drum and increases with level, and is enhanced by magical drum T P

56 Song of Highsun Target stun for 0 seconds (to interrupt spell casting); Nullify magic spell, removing buffs and damage shields; Target is GATED and moved to spawn location if it is an NPC or SHADOWSTEPPED if it is a PC. Fairly easily resisted. Only works during the day. T W

56 Song of Midnight Target Fear, Increase Movement (50%). May only be sung at night. Very useful as an escape tool. O B

57 Cassindra's Insipid Ditty Target Mana Drain and WIS/INT debuff by 16 points, in effect decreasing its total mana pool T S

57 McVaxius' Rousing Rondo Increase Haste (attack speed by 22%), ATK (14), STR(20), damage shield(8) for entire group G B

58 Jonathan's Inspiration Increase Attack Speed (61%), STR(17), and ATK(15) for target S V

58 Niv's Harmonic Increase AC(24) of entire group G V

59 Denon's Bereavement AE poison, Stun, DD(30), and MR Debuff(15) O S

59 Solon's Charismatic Concord Increases CHA by 45 for entire group G S

60 Anstilich's Assonance Target reduce Attack Speed(29-31%) and DoT(250 pts) T W

60 Composition of Ervaj Similar to the level 50 song but a 10% haste and AC G B

60 Kazumi's Note of Preservation Divine Aura (invulnerability for 18 seconds) for entire group; During this time party cannot attack or cast. Useful as an escape strategy. G W ~info from www.eqdivas.com~


ALL BARD SKILLS Level Skill Name Type Max Skill Lvl 55 Cap
1 1H Blunt C 250 250
1 1H Slashing C 250 250
1 2H Blunt C 0 0
1 2H Slashing C 0 0
1 Alcohol Tolerance G 200 200
1 Baking T 200 200
1 Beg G 200 200
1 Bind Wound C 200 200
1 Brewing T 200 200
1 Defense C 252 252
1 Fishing G 200 200
1 Fletching T 200 200
1 Hand to Hand C 100 100
1 Jewelcraft T 200 200
1 Offense C 252 252
1 Piercing C 240 240
1 Pottery T 200 200
1 Sense Heading G 200 200
1 Singing M 235 235
1 Smithing T 200 200
1 Swimming G 200 200
1 Tailoring T 200 200
1 Throwing C 113 113
5 Percussion M 235 235
8 String M 235 235
10 Dodge C 155 155
10 Meditate G 1 1
11 Brass M 235 235
12 Forage G 55 55
14 Wind M 235 235
17 Dual Wield C 245 245
17 Sneak G 75 75
20 Sense Traps G 75 75
24 Safe Fall G 40 40
25 Hide G 40 40
26 Instill Doubt C 100 100
30 Disarm Traps G 100 100
35 Track G 100 100
40 Pick Lock G 100 100
51 Resistance D
53 Parry C 185 185
54 Fearless D
55 Deftdance D
58 Riposte C 75 -
60 Puretone D -
~info from www.eqdivas.com~


Bard Weapons
Weapon Stats Effects Bard
1HB Weapons
Di'zok Wristsnapper
[LORE] [MAGIC] 10/18
DPS: 11.67 AC5 AGI+7 CHA+7 INT+7 Bard Only

Evensong
[LORE] [MAGIC] [NO DROP] 11/25
DPS: 9.2 Bard Only

Melodious Truncheon
[MAGIC] 11/23
DPS: 10 Effect: Melodious Befuddlement
Bard Only

Orb of Tishan
[MAGIC] 7/25
DPS: 6 Effect: Tishania
Mana+35 STA+9 STR+9

1HS Weapons
Breath of Harmony
[LORE] [MAGIC] 10/18
DPS: 11.67 Effect: Niv's Melody of Preservation
Bard Only

Gleaming Short Sword
[LORE] [MAGIC] 10/29
DPS: 7.24 CHA+5

Glowing Black Sword
[LORE] [MAGIC] 9/22
DPS: 8.64 Effect: Neutralize Magic
DEX+20

Singing Short Sword
[LORE] [MAGIC] [NO DROP] 16/26
DPS: 12.69 Effect: Dance of Blade
CHA+15 CR+10 DEX+10 DR+10 FR+10 HP+50 Mana+10 MR+10 PR+10 STA+10 STR+15 Bard Only

Six Note Blade
[LORE] [MAGIC] [NO DROP] 11/25
DPS: 9.2 Bard Only

Symphonic Saber
[LORE] [MAGIC] 11/23
DPS: 10 Effect: Symphonic Harmony
CHA+10 INT+5 Bard Only

PIERCING Weapons
Blade of Fiery Lamentations
[LORE] [MAGIC] 5/18
DPS: 6.11 Effect: Finger of Fire
Bard Only

Dancing Rapier 8/19
DPS: 8.95

Dawnchaser
[LORE] [MAGIC] [NO DROP] 11/25
DPS: 9.2 Bard Only

Harmonic Dagger
[LORE] [MAGIC] 10/21
DPS: 10 Effect: Tishan's Clash
Bard Only

Harmonic Spear
[LORE] [MAGIC] [NO DROP] 10/21
DPS: 10 Effect: Chant of Battle
CHA+5 DEX+5 STR+5 Bard Only

Martune Rapier
[LORE] [MAGIC] [NO DROP] 8/23
DPS: 7.39 AGI+4 STR+5 Bard Only

Sainy's Claw
[LORE] [MAGIC] 6/19
DPS: 6.84 AC+10 INT+3 Bard Only

Sainy's Singing Dagger
[LORE] [MAGIC] 7/22
DPS: 6.82 Effect: Symphonic Harmony
Bard Only

Sionachie's Partisan
[LORE] [MAGIC] 9/19
DPS: 10 CHA+6 INT+2 MR+5 Bard Only

Siren Song, Dagger of the Sea
[LORE] [MAGIC] [NO DROP] 15/22
DPS: 14.09 Effect: Effect: Song of the Deep Seas
AC+15 CHA+7 HP+40 STR+7 SV COLD+7 SV DISEASE+7 SV FIRE+7 SV MAGIC+7 SV POISON+7 Bard Only

Whistling Dagger
[LORE] [MAGIC] 6/25
DPS: 5.2 AC+1 Bard Only


Bard Instruments
Instrument Name Effects Stats
Brass Instruments
Alluring Horn
[LORE] [MAGIC] [NO DROP] Reduces the effectiveness of songs by 1-5%
Conch Shell Horn Adds 3-5% to Brass songs
Denon's Horn of Dissonance This horn is the result of the bard quest - Bard Test of Brass. Can be held in either hand so you can wield a weapon at the same time. CHA+10 HP+50 INT+5 STR+5
Horn Horn used for Bard brass songs.
Immaculate Shell Horn
[MAGIC] CHA+15 STR-8
McVaxius' Horn of War
[LORE] [MAGIC] Adds 15% to Brass songs CHA+15 DEX+9 INT+9
Sirens' Conch Shell Horn
Verlekarnorm's Horn of Disaster
[LORE] [MAGIC] [NO DROP] Effect: Verlekarnorm's Disaster
AC50 STR+25
Percussion
Drums of the Beast
[LORE] [MAGIC] Effect: Enduring Breath

Hand Drum Adds 10% to Percussion depending on song.
Mahlin's Mystical Bongos Adds 15% to Percussion depending on song.
Mistmoore Battle Drums
[MAGIC] Adds 17% to Percussion depending on song.
Nostrolo Tambourine
[LORE] [MAGIC] [NO DROP] Adds 23% to Percussion depending on song. Does not look like a flute when wielded! INT+5
Selo's Drums of the March
[LORE] [MAGIC] Adds 35% to Percussion depending on song.
Sharkskin Drum Adds 22% to Percussion depending on song.
Walrus Skin Drum
[LORE] [MAGIC] Adds 30% to Percussion depending on song.
String
Gypsy Lute
[LORE] [MAGIC] [NO DROP] There is a NO DROP and regular version of Gypsy Lute. The NO DROP is used for Lambent armor Breastplate quest. Adds 5% to Stringed songs MR+5
Kelin's Seven Stringed Lute
[LORE] [MAGIC] [NO DROP] Adds about 20% to stringed songs AGI+9 CHA+15 DEX+9
Lute
Lute of the Gypsy Princess
[MAGIC] Adds 5% to Stringed songs
Lute of the Howler
[MAGIC] Werewolf Illusion Lute Self: Change Form(Werewolf); Self: Faction Modifier(Werewolf); Self: Increase ATK(45-61), Attack Speed (40%); Self: Increase STR(23-30) Effect: Illusion: Werewolf

Lyendlln's Lute
[LORE] [MAGIC] AC+10 HP+25
Lyran's Mystical Lute CHA+15 DEX+10 INT+10 STR+10
Mandolin
Wind
Agilmente's Flute of Flight
[LORE] [MAGIC] [NO DROP] Bard Quest Item (50) INT+2 STR+4
Brahm's Horn Adds 15% to Wind songs
Broken Minotaur Lord's Horn
[LORE] [MAGIC] [NO DROP] +10 Poison Resist PR+10
Faun Flute CHA+6
Flute
Flute Mouth Piece
Flute of the Sacred Glade CHA+8 DR+10 WIS+4
Lianna's Flute
[LORE] [NO DROP]
Lyssa's Darkwood Piccolo
[MAGIC] Adds 35% to Wind songs
Minotaur Horn Adds 15% to Wind songs
Scorpion Pincer
Unicorn Horn
[MAGIC] Greater Lightstone light, 5 charges of Purge

Bard Illusions/Masks
Illusion/Mask Name Effects Stats
Instruments
Dessicated Halfling Mask
[LORE] [MAGIC] [NO DROP] Effect: Illusion: Halfling Illusion: Halfling
AC4 AGI+7 CHA+7
Flayed Barbarian Hide Mask
[LORE] [MAGIC] Effect: Illusion: Barbarian Illusion: Barbarian
AC35 DEX+15 HP+100 STA+10 STR+15 SV COLD+7 SV DISEASE+7 SV FIRE+7 SV MAGIC+7 SV POISON+7
Guise of the Coercer
[LORE] [MAGIC] [NO DROP] Effect: Illusion: High Elf Illusion: High Elf
AC4 CHA+13 SV MAGIC+7
Iksar Hide Mask
[LORE] [MAGIC] Effect: Illusion Iksar Illusion: Iksar
AC4 CHA+13 SV MAGIC+7
Mask of Deception
[LORE] [MAGIC] [NO DROP] Effect: Illusion: Dark Elf Illusion: Dark Elf
AC+4 CHA+13 SV MAGIC+7
Mask of Obtenebration
[LORE] [MAGIC] Effect: Illusion: Erudite Illusion: Erudite
AC+6 AGI+6 CHA+8
Mask of Tinkering
[LORE] [MAGIC] Effect: Illusion Gnome Illusion: Gnome
AC+4 CHA+13 SV MAGIC+7
Neriad Shawl
[LORE] [MAGIC] [NO DROP] Effect: Illusion Water Elemental Illusion: Water Elemental
AC+2 CHA+25 DEX+5 INT+10 STA-8 STR-10 SV COLD+5
Lute of the Howler
[MAGIC] Werewolf Illusion Lute Self: Change Form(Werewolf); Self: Faction Modifier(Werewolf); Self: Increase ATK(45-61), Attack Speed (40%); Self: Increase STR(23-30) Illusion: Werewolf

Magic Resistance Items
MR FR CR PR DR AC Bard Only
HEAD
Crown of King Tranix 20 - - - - 13
Sarnak Headguard 10 - - - - 15
Skull Shaped Barbute 10 - - - - 13
Platinum Blue Diamond Tiara 8 8 8 8 8
Kylong War Helm 7 - - 4 - 12
Blackened Alloy Coif 6 6 6 6 6 8
Blackened Iron Crown 5 5 5 5 5 5
Velium Spiked Skull Helm 5 5 5 5 5 10
Ry'Gorr Chain Coif 3 - - - - 13
Holgresh Fur Cap 2 2 2 - - 3
FACE
Guise of the Deceiver 7 - - - - 4
Iksar Hide Mask 7 - - - - 4
Mask of Deception 7 - - - - 4
Mask of Tinkering 7 - - - - 4
Eyepatch of Plunder 6 6 6 6 6 10
Gnome Skin Mask 5 - - 5 - 3
Lizardskin Tribal Mask 5 - - - - 3
Split Paw Hide Mask 5 - - 5 - 3
Mask of the Songbird 4 4 4 4 4 6 Y
Braided Beard of the Coldain 3 - - - - 5
Diamond Electrum Mask 3 5 5 10 10
Golden Diamond Mask 3 10 10 5 5
EAR
Earring of Essence 10 - - - -
Earring of Magic Reflection 5 - - - - 1
Fingerbone Hoop 5 5 5 -8 -8 2
Blue Diamond Electrum Earring 4 6 6 11 11
NECK
Velium Wolf's Eye Necklace 10 - - - -
Platinum Wolf's Eye Necklace 9 - - - -
Cape of Midnight Mist 7 - - - - 2
White Gold Necklace 7 7 7 - -
Dragon Tooth Choker 5 10 5 5 - 8
Necklace of Superiority 5 5 5 5 5 5
Sparkling Soul Necklace 5 - - 5 5 2
Golden Blue Diamond Pendant 4 11 11 6 6
Ry'Gorr Chain Collar 4 - - - - 9
MR FR CR PR DR AC Bard Only
CHEST
Breastplate of Twilight 10 5 5 5 5 50 Y
Red Dragonscale Armor 10 10 - - - 21
Sarnak Emblazoned Talbard 10 - - - - 14
Dwarven Ringmail Tunic 8 8 8 - - 12
Melodic Breastplate 8 2 2 2 2 42 Y
Resonant Breastplate 8 2 2 2 2 42 Y
Sentry Breastplate 8 8 - - - 20
Troubadour's Breastplate 8 2 2 2 2 50 Y
Cured Tizmak Surcoat 7 - - - - 15
Guardian Breastplate 5 5 - - - 22
Crystalline Silk Shirt 4 - - - - 7
SHOULDER
Bloodstained Mantle 10 - - - - 6
Imbued Granite Spauldors 10 10 10 10 10 20
Wurm Scale Coat 10 20 - - - 8
Guardian Pauldrons 6 - - - -
BACK
Holgresh Fur Cloak 6 - - - - 6
Cloak of the Ry'Gorr Oracles 5 - 10 - - 6
Spectral Shroud 5 - - 5 - 5
Othmir Fur Cloak 2 - - - 4 6
WRIST
Velium Blue Diamond Bracelet 9 9 11 9 9
Bracer of Scale 5 - - - - 6
Guardian Bracers 4 5 5 - - 9
Wolf's Eye Electrum Bracelet 4 - - - -
Sentry Bracers 2 - - 5 5 9
MR FR CR PR DR AC Bard Only
ARM
Mithril Vambrances 5 - - - - 10
Ry'Gorr Iron Armguards 3 - 5 - - 11
HANDS
Kylong Guantlets 2 - - - 2
Kylong Guantlets 2 - - - 2 12
FINGER
Velium Jacinth Ring 14 - - - -
Platinum Jacinth Wedding Ring 13 - - - -
Velium Diamond Ring 8 8 8 8 8
Platinum Diamond Ring 7 - - - -
Platinum Diamond Wedding Ring 7 7 7 7 7
Goblin Gazughi Ring 5 - - - - 1
WAIST
Guardian Girdle 5 - - - - 12
Sentry Girdle 5 - - - - 10
MR FR CR PR DR AC Bard Only
LEGS
Gladiator's Chain Leggings 10 - - - - 17
Imbrued Platemail Greaves 10 - - - - 16 Y
Guardian Leggings 5 15 15 - - 12
Sentry Leggings 5 - - 10 10 13
Ry'gorr Chain Leggings 3 - 5 - - 13
FEET
Holgresh Fur Moccasins 5 5 5 - - 4
Holgresh Fur Moccasins 5 5 5 - - 4
Kylong Boots 5 - 5 - - 12
Lambent Boots 2 2 2 2 2 11 Y
RANGE
Runed Bone Fork 10 10 10 - -
MR FR CR PR DR AC Bard Only

Armor Name Armor Slot Effects
Lambent Armor
Lambent Boots
[LORE] [MAGIC] FEET AC11 CHA+1 SV COLD+2 SV DISEASE+2 SV FIRE+2 SV MAGIC+2 SV POISON+2
Lambent Bracers
[MAGIC] WRIST AC9 CHA+1 STR+4
Lambent Breastplate
[LORE] [MAGIC] CHEST AC20 CHA+1 HP+25 STA+5
Lambent Greaves
[LORE] [MAGIC] LEGS AC13 AGI+5 CHA+1
Lambent Guantlets
[LORE] [MAGIC] HANDS AC12 CHA+1 DEX+5
Lambent Helm
[LORE] [MAGIC] HEAD AC13 CHA+3 INT+5
Lambent Vambrances
[LORE] [MAGIC] ARM AC11 CHA+1 SV COLD+2 SV DISEASE+2 SV FIRE+2 SV MAGIC+2 SV POISON+2

Total Lambent Armor Modifiers
Weight:
AC:
Charisma:



Singing Steel - Kunark Bard Armor
Singing Steel Boots
[LORE] [MAGIC] FEET Effect: Agilmente's Aria of Eagles
AC21
Singing Steel Bracer
[MAGIC] WRIST Effect: Shield of Flame
AC19
Singing Steel Breastplate
[MAGIC] CHEST Effect: Invigorate
AC40 AGI+10 CHA+10 DEX+10 STR+10
Singing Steel Greaves
[LORE] [MAGIC] LEGS Effect: Angstlich's Appalling Screech
AC24 AGI+8 CHA+8 DEX+8 STR+8
Singing Steel Guantlets
[LORE] [MAGIC] HANDS Effect: Endure Breath
AC16
Singing Steel Helm
[LORE] [MAGIC] HEAD Effect: Eye of Zomm
AC21
Singing Steel Vambrances
[LORE] [MAGIC] ARM Effect: Invigor
AC21

Total Singing Steel Armor Modifiers
Weight:
AC:
Charisma:



Imbrued Platemail - Plane of Hate Bard Armor
Imbrued Platemail Boots
[MAGIC] [NO DROP] FEET AC16 STA+9 STR+5 SV COLD+10
Imbrued Platemail Bracer
[MAGIC] [NO DROP] WRIST AC16 CHA+9 SV FIRE+10 WIS+9
Imbrued Platemail Breastplate
[MAGIC] [NO DROP] CHEST AC29 CHA+9 DEX+13 STR+9 SV DISEASE+10
Imbrued Platemail Greaves
[MAGIC] [NO DROP] LEGS AC16 AGI+9 STA+9 STR+5 SV MAGIC+10
Imbrued Platemail Guantlets
[MAGIC] [NO DROP] HANDS AC12 DEX+5 HP+10 WIS+5
Imbrued Platemail Helm
[MAGIC] [NO DROP] HEAD AC16 CHA+9 SV FIRE+10 WIS+9
Imbrued Platemail Vambrances
[MAGIC] [NO DROP] ARM AC16 INT+9 SV POISON+10

Total Imbrued Platemail Armor Modifiers
Weight:
AC:
Charisma:



Melodic - Plane of Growth Bard Armor
Melodic Boots
[MAGIC] [NO DROP] FEET AC19 CHA+3 STR+2
Melodic Bracer
[MAGIC] [NO DROP] WRIST AC15 AGI+3 CHA+2 SV MAGIC+2
Melodic Breastplate
[MAGIC] [NO DROP] CHEST Effect: Selo's Song of Travel
AC42 CHA+8 DEX+10 HP+50 STA+10 STR+10 SV COLD+2 SV DISEASE+2 SV FIRE+2 SV MAGIC+2 SV POISON+2
Melodic Greaves
[MAGIC] [NO DROP] LEGS AC24 AGI+5 CHA+5 DEX+4 HP+60 STA+5 STR+5 SV COLD+2 SV DISEASE+2 SV FIRE+2 SV MAGIC+2 SV POISON+2
Melodic Guantlets
[MAGIC] [NO DROP] HANDS AC14 AGI+1 CHA+3 DEX+1 HP+15 STR+2 SV COLD+1 SV FIRE+1 SV MAGIC+1
Melodic Helm
[MAGIC] [NO DROP] HEAD AC19 AGI+5 HP+30 STR+5 SV COLD+1 SV DISEASE+1 SV FIRE+1 SV MAGIC+1 SV POISON+1
Melodic Vambrances
[MAGIC] [NO DROP] ARM AC19 DEX+4 HP+20 STA+4 STR+3 SV COLD+1 SV DISEASE+1 SV FIRE+1 SV MAGIC+1 SV POISON+1

Total Melodic Armor Modifiers
Weight:
AC:
Charisma:



Resonant - Thurgadin Bard Quest Armor
Resonant Breastplate CHEST Effect: Selo's Song of Travel

Resonant Breastplate CHEST Effect: Selo's Song of Travel

Resonant Vambrances
[MAGIC] [NO DROP] ARMS AC19 AGI+4 HP+20 STA+3 STR+4 SV COLD+1 SV DISEASE+1 SV FIRE+1 SV MAGIC+1 SV POISON+1

Total Resonant Armor Modifiers
Weight:
AC:
Charisma:



Troubadour - Kael Bard Quest Armor
Troubadour's Boots
[MAGIC] [NO DROP] FEET AC25 CHA+5 STR+3
Troubadour's Bracer
[MAGIC] [NO DROP] WRIST AC21 AGI+3 STR+3 SV MAGIC+3
Troubadour's Breastplate
[MAGIC] [NO DROP] CHEST Effect: Selo's Song of Travel
AC54 AGI+10 CHA+10 HP+50 STR+14 SV COLD+2 SV DISEASE+2 SV FIRE+2 SV MAGIC+8 SV POISON+2
Troubadour's Greaves
[MAGIC] [NO DROP] LEGS AC36 AGI+5 CHA+4 DEX+5 HP+60 STA+5 STR+10 SV COLD+2 SV DISEASE+2 SV FIRE+2 SV MAGIC+2 SV POISON+2
Troubadour's Guantlets
[MAGIC] [NO DROP] HANDS AC21 AGI+1 CHA+5 DEX+1 HP+15 STR+2 SV COLD+1 SV FIRE+1 SV MAGIC+1
Troubadour's Helm
[MAGIC] [NO DROP] HEAD AC27 CHA+5 HP+30 STR+6 SV COLD+1 SV DISEASE+1 SV FIRE+1 SV MAGIC+1 SV POISON+1
Troubadour's Vambrances
[MAGIC] [NO DROP] ARMS AC29 AGI+3 CHA+4 DEX+4 HP+20 STR+4 SV COLD+1 SV DISEASE+1 SV FIRE+1 SV MAGIC+1 SV POISON+1

Bard Songs and Radio Song Equivalents
1- Chant of Battle "We will Rock You"
"Mouth for War" - Pantara
2- Chords of Dissonance Anything by Vanilla Ice
"Lux Aeterna" - Ligeti (background music for the obelisk scenes in 2001: A Space Odyssey)
4- Lyssa's Locating Lyric "Has Anyone Seen My Corpse?"
"Push the Little Daisies" - Ween
3- Jaxan's Jig of Vigor "Da Doo Doo Doo Da Da Da Da" - Police
5- Selo's Accelerando "Chariots of Fire"
"More Human than Human" - White Zombie
"The Distance" - Cake
"Leader of the Pack" - Twisted Sister
"Adagio" - Albinoni
"Jesus Built my Hot Rod" - Ministry
"Locomotive Breath" - Jethro Tull
12- Brusco's Boastful Bellow "Shout" - Tears for Fears
10- Anthem de Arms "Battle Hymn of the Republic"
"The Marseillaise"
18- Denon's Disruptive Dischord "King of Pain" - Police
46- Chant of Frost "Ice Ice Baby" - Vanilla Ice
50- Verses of Victory "Eye of the Tiger" (Rocky Theme)
"Block Rockin Beats" - Chemical Brothers
"Basement Jaxx" - Red Alert
"Battle Hymn of the Republic"
Mortal Combat song
"Crazy on You" - Heart
"Do you hear the People Sing" - Les Miserables
31- Aria of Eagles "Wind Beneath my Wings"
"Greatest American Hero"
"Learning to Fly" - Tom Petty
21- Melanie's Mellifluous Motion "Can't Touch This"
34- Lyssa's Solidarity of Vision "In your Eyes"
38- Chant of Flame "Disco Inferno"
"Burning Inside" - Ministry
Dance of the Blade "Battery" - Metallica
"Duel of the Fates" - Star Wars Episode 1
42- McVaxious' Beserker Crescendo "Surfacing" - Slipnot
"Flight of the Valkyries" - Wagner
15- Kelin's Lucid Lullaby "Wake Up" by Rage Against the Machine
"Dreamweaver"
51- Selo's Song of Travel "Fly Away" - Lenny Kravitz
"Magic Carpet Ride" - Steppenwolf
"Free Falling" - Tom Petty
"Surfing with the Alien" - Joe Satriani
"Outer Space" - Prodigy
"Highway to the Danger Zone"
36- Verses of Celerity "Smack my Bitch Up" - Prodigy
43- Denon's Desperate Dirge "Last Resort" - Papa Roach
Pixie Strike/Song of Twilight "Narayan" - Prodigy
"Voodoo Ray" - A Guy named Gerald
"Bitchin' Camaro" - Dead Milkmen
26- Angslich's Appalling Screech "L'empire du cote obsure" - IAM
"I Think We're Alone Now" - Tiffany
49- Shield of Song "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us"
51- Largo's Absonant Binding "Stop in the Name of Love"
57- Cassindra's Insipid Ditty "Loser"
Chains/Slows "Toccata and 'fuga' in D minor" - Bach
Tarew's Aquatic Ayre "Breathe" - Pink Floyd
"Aqualung" - Jethro Tull
"Underwater Love" - Faith No More
"Breathe" - Ministry
"In the Navy" - Village People
39- Solon's Bewitching Bravura (charm) "Whip It" - Devo
"Cello Concerto" - Elgar
32- Cassindra's Chorus of Clarity "I can see Clearly Now"
"Achille's Last Stand" - Led Zeppelin
19- Shauri's Sonorous Clouding "Fade into You" - Mazzy Star
37- Psalm of Purity "Like a Virgin" - Madonna



Credits to the Contributors to this list...
Mileron, Harliquinn Whiteshadow, Darkfox Reven'tsol, Dalakar Daystar, Minlac, Furgh, Shada Iceheart, Ebany Phleeght, Leolan, Salamder Cantante, Orpheo Rhapsoidos, Rindaen, Paschendale, Shikarii, Faddle Fiddle, Curanto Prestissimo, Gaedan Mentheren, Taspen, Moshkiae Soulwriter, Kocho Divah


Dedication to Bards: The Mana Man (by Deirdre Sadiqa)
Here's a little something I wrote for my virtuoso friend, Danilo. Thought you bards would like it...

to the tune of Piano Man, by Billy Joel

It's time for the raid on a Saturday
The regular guildees log in
Theres a couple of n00bs sitting next to me
Making love, the cybering sin

I get stuck with the caster group right away
So I sit and practice my tone
I won't need to twist battle melodies
Cause they'll ask for one song alone

La la la, di de da
La la, di de da da dum

Sing us song, you're the mana man
Sing us a song tonight
'Cause we don't want to sit down and meditate
And you'll keep us ready to fight

Now Jonna the cleric's a friend of mine
She gets me my buffs for free
And she's quick with a heal, and slow to shout "Peel!"
And there's no class that she'd rather be.

She says, "Dan I can't stand that they're nerfing me,
And they never will fix Mark of Karn.
Well I'm sure that it could be much better,
But it's better than being a bard."

Oh, la la la, di de da
La la, di de da da dum

Now Poal is a tanking enchanter
Who's still getting over his wife
He's chatting with Mavy, a druid slut-baby
Who's prob'ly a guy in real life

And the guildmaster's practicing politics
As the planes were all booked for a year
And I try to play Niv's Harmonic
But it's not what they all want to hear

Sing us a song, you're the mana man
Sing us a song tonight
'Cause we don't want to sit down and meditate
And you'll keep us ready to fight

It's a pretty good raid for a Saturday
And the raidleader gives the okay
We'll smack the damn sod that thinks it's a god
And forget about life for today

And I draw my weapons and face the thing
I can tank, buff, debuff and melee!
But I'm stuck with a wizard, and a twink necro lizard
That say "Dan, can't you play clarity?"

Oh, la la la, di de da
La la, di de da da dum

Sing us a song, you're the mana man
Sing us a song tonight
'Cause we don't want to sit down and meditate
And you'll keep us ready to fight



Deirdre Sadiqa
Mistress of Tranquility
Warlords of Wrath


Veeshan's Peak Explored by Gendarin at 6/13/00 11:22:44 AM PST

I'm pleased to annouce that on Bertoxulous Veeshan's Peak was recently explored by a party of about 14 players. We've even had the good fortune to have someone logged in as a scout in VP, what follows is a small portion of the log during that time:

Druid: /shout WOOT!! YOU HAVE ENTERED VEESHAN'S PEAK!!!
Rogue: Hey, we didn't die zoning in, it already beats the crap out of those Howling Stones...
Magician begins to cast a spell
Necromancer begins to cast a spell
Wizard: /shout Level 57 wizzie lookin for a group
Jenkins says 'Guarding you master'
Jeeves says 'Guarding with my life, oh great one'
Monk: /auction Selling Tailor made items at reasonable prices
Warrior: /auction Same here
Paladin: /auction Same
Enchanter: /auction Selling Platinum Ruby Veil for 9.5k
Druid: That's insane
Enchanter looks around for some competition, and shrugs
Cleric: So who wants to group with me?
Magician: Me
Necromancer: Me
Rogue: Me
Warrior: Me
Paladin: Me
Shadow Knight: Me
Wizard: Me
Monk: Me
Bard: Me
Druid: Me
Enchanter: Me
Ranger: Me
Shaman: Me
Cleric: Okay, Warrior, Necromancer, Bard, Enchanter, Shaman, you're with me
All others: *Various swearing*
Wizard: So who wants to group with me?
Rogue: Yeah, and I'm starting a group, who wants to group with me?
*Sound of wind whistling*
Paladin: So maybe we should do some scouting...
Druid begins to cast a spell
Wizard begins to cast an UselessUpgradedSpell spell ~
Rogue disappears
Druid dons a mask of the hunter
Wizard creates an 'Invisible to Mobs under 35 when it's a level 55 spell'
eye
Druid, Wizard, and Rogue: I'll scout
Wizard: /shout Level 57 wizzie looking for a group
Enchanter begins to cast a spell
Necromancer: Hey buddy can I get some Swords of Runes?
Magician feels his summons are useful for a change
Magician: Sure
Magician begins to cast a spell
Magician begins to cast a spell
A cool breeze slips thru Enchanter's party
Jeeves says 'Thank you master'
Jeeves says 'Thank you master'
Necromancer disbands
Necromancer: Well I don't need you guys anymore
Necromancer chuckles
Wizard: /shout %&^(( They saw my invisible eye, we got two dragons inc
Druid: /ooc *sigh*
Rogue: /ooc *sigh*
A Sky Blue Dragon begins to cast a spell
A Sky Blue Dragon begins to cast a spell
Monk: GETEM!
Ranger, Monk, Warrior, Rogue, Paladin, and Shadow Knight attack A Sky Blue Dragon
Necromancer, Magician, Enchanter, Druid, Wizard begins to cast a spell
Necromancer has feared A Sky Blue Dragon
Jeeves says 'Attacking master'
Necromancer: I got this one
Jenkins says 'Attacking master'
Ranger slashes A Sky Blue Dragon for 49 damage
Monk kicks A Sky Blue Dragon for 200 damage
Warrior taunts A Sky Blue Dragon
Rogue backstabs A Sky Blue Dragon for 400 damage
Shadow Knight Harmtouches A Sky Blue Dragon for 800 damage
Magician hits A Sky Blue Dragon for nonmelee for 850 damage
Druid hits A Sky Blue Dragon for nonmelee for 1020 damage
Bard twists mana and hp recovery songs
Wizard's spell has been resisted
Wizard: %*&^
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
Ranger yells for help behind you and to the left
Cleric begins to frantically cast a spell
Necromancer reclines and yawns
Warrior taunts A Sky Blue Dragon
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 50 damage
Warrior taunts A Sky Blue Dragon
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 126 damage
Warrior: Oh come on
Cleric has cast a spell
Ranger has regained 900 hp
Cleric begins to cast a spell
Warrior taunts A Sky Blue Dragon
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 300 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 193 damage
Ranger yells for help behind you and to the left
Cleric: Quick casting my $*%
Wizard begins to cast a spell
Wizard's spell has been resisted
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Wizard for 800 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Wizard for 800 damage
Wizard has been slain by A Sky Blue Dragon
Necromancer puts on sunglasses
Warrior: Well there's a taunt at least
Bard summons water from his boots
Cleric has cast a spell
Ranger has regained 900 hp
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
Ranger: WTF? I stopped attacking 20 secs ago
Cleric begins to cast a spell
Ranger is completely healed
Cleric: There we go
Magician begins to cast a spell
Ranger is enveloped in fire
Shaman: Well at least he's useful now
Necromancer strikes up a conversation with Jimi Hendrix
Necromancer lights a cigar
Monk kicks A Sky Blue Dragon for 450 damage
Warrior kicks A Sky Blue Dragon for 3 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon is stunned
Warrior: Woo hoo
Druid begins to cast a spell
Monk uberpunches A Sky Blue Dragon for 800 damage
Warrior kicks A Sky Blue Dragon for 10 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon is stunned
Warrior: Twice in a row!
Warrior sticks his tongue out at Monk
Druid hits A Sky Blue Dragon for nonmelee for 1020 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Druid for 500 damage
Necromancer begins to debate the philosophy of 'The Matrix'
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Druid for 500 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Druid for 500 damage
Cleric begins to cast a spell
Paladin begins to cast a spell
Druid feels a healing touch
Cleric: %*^
Paladin: Sorry
Cleric's casting has been interrupted
You must be standing to cast a spell
Bard summons water from his boots
Druid: You mind?
Bard summons food from his pants
Bard: What? Can't you see I'm using my armor's special abilities
Rogue backstabs A Sky Blue Dragon for 400 damage
Jenkins backstabs A Sky Blue Dragon for 500 damage
Jenkins laughs an elemental laugh at Rogue
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Jenkins for 800 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Jenkins for 800 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Jenkins for 800 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Jenkins for 800 damage
Jenkins has been slain by A Sky Blue Dragon
Rogue laughs heartily at Jenkins
Magician begins to cast a spell
Enchanter wanders blindly, waiting for a crowd to control
Magician: I'll try an air this time
Butler says 'Attacking master'
Necromancer chuckles
Magician: What?
Necromancer points at Jeeves
A Sky Blue Dragon tries to hit Jeeves, but is parried
A Sky Blue Dragon tries to hit Jeeves, but Jeeves dodges
A Sky Blue Dragon tries to hit Jeeves, but Jeeves ripostes
Jeeves hits A Sky Blue Dragon for 60 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon tries to hit Jeeves, but is parried
Magician: So?
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Butler for 600 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Butler for 600 damage
Butler has been slain by A Sky Blue Dragon
Necromancer laughs
Necromancer begins to cast a spell
Magician begins to cast a spell
Necromancer lifetaps A Sky Blue Dragon
Necromancer experiences a 2000 point swing in life totals
Magician sighs, wanting to be second best at direct damage
Druid sighs, wanting to be second best at direct damage
Revived Wizard sighs, wanting to be best at direct damage
Magician: Okay, this one is fire
Shaman: Just do earth, everyone knows the others suck anyway
Lil'Flamey says 'Attacking master'
Lil'Flamey begins to cast a spell
Lil'Flamey's spell has been resisted
Lil'Flamey begins to cast a spell
Lil'Flamey's spell has been resisted
Lil'Flamey begins to cast a spell
Lil'Flamey's spell has been resisted
Revived Wizard feels some sympathy
Bard yawns, still twisting his mana/hp regen songs
Necromancer yawns, still sitting on his can
Shaman: Okay let's end this
Shaman begins to cast a spell
Warrior feels like an avatar
Warrior: Woohoo, you're the best!
Cleric: Oh come on
Cleric tries to strike A Sky Blue Dragon, but misses
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Cleric for disproportionately high damage
Cleric sighs about her armor
Cleric has been slain by A Sky Blue Dragon
Necromancer takes pity on Cleric
Druid begins to cast a spell
Necromancer begins to cast a spell
Paladin tries to cast a spell, but quest hasn't been implemented yet
Necromancer casts a spell
Cleric is revived with 93% exp regain
Necromancer: A newbie gave his life for that
Revived Cleric sighs
Buffed Warrior hits A Sky Blue Dragon for tons of damage
Ranger blows wind at A Sky Blue Dragon
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
Ranger sighs
Shaman looks around mildly, waiting to buff someone
Druid: Any ideas?
Shadow Knight tries to make a point, but there aren't enough of him to be
listened to
Lightbulb appears over Enchanter's head
Enchanter begins to cast a spell
A Sky Blue Dragon is showered with gold
Monk: What'd you do?
Enchanter: Gave him some pocket change
A Sky Blue Dragon is heavily encumbered
Paladin slashes A Sky Blue Dragon with FIERY AVENGER for massive damage
Warrior slashes A Sky Blue Dragon with RANDOM WEAPON FROM KARNOR'S for massive damage + 1
Paladin sighs
Jeeves says 'Guarding you master'
Necromancer: You should see the loot on my dragon...
All others: SHUT UP!!
Monk B!tChSl@Ps A Sky Blue Dragon for massive damage
Magician, Druid, Enchanter, Wizard, and Shaman begin to cast spells
A Sky Blue Dragon is hit for miniscule fraction of total life in nonmelee
damage
Casters sigh
Magician smiles
Magician: I still have my pet
Lil'Flamey begins to cast a spell
Lil'Flamey's spell has been resisted
Lil'Flamey begins to cast a spell
A Sky Blue Dragon is hit by nonmelee for 178 damage
Shaman: You know your Earth quad hits for....
Magician: Shut up!
Necromancer: ...less than mine does
Magician sighs at Lil'Flamey
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Lil'Flamey for 600 damage
Necromancer begins to cast a spell
Wizard begins to cast a spell
Necromancer DOTs A Sky Blue Dragon for Trakanonlike damage
Wizard casts CrappyRainSpell
A Sky Blue Dragon is hit by nonmelee for 600 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon resisted CrappyRainSpell
Jeeves is unaffected by CrappyRainSpell
Lil'Flamey is unaffected by CrappyRainSpell
Wizard: Woo hoo, and that only cost 400 mana
A Sky Blue Dragon staggers, looking for somewhere to die
Druid, Ranger, Magician, Wizard, Cleric, Shaman, Enchanter, Necromancer, Shadowknight, and Bard begin to cast spells
Warrior beats on A Sky Blue Dragon
Paladin whallops on A Sky Blue Dragon
Monk decimates A Sky Blue Dragon
Rogue kinda wounds A Sky Blue Dragon
A Sky Blue Dragon is hit by a ton of nonmelee
A Sky Blue Dragon says 'From Hell's heart I stab at thee!'
A Sky Blue Dragon swipes Lil'Flamey for massive damage
A Sky Blue Dragon has been slain by Necromancer's DOT
A Sky Blue Dragon has left no corpse
GroupOf13 look at Necromancer
Necromancer lowers head, then wanders off to solo dragons
Lil'Flamey begins to cast a spell
Lil'Flamey casts ReallyStupidYonderSpell
Lil'Flamey disappears
A Sky Blue Dragon begins to cast a spell
A Really Huge Dragon begins to cast a spell
A Red As Blood Dragon begins to cast a spell
A Makes Veeshan Look Like A Worm Dragon begins to cast a spell
SadMage sighs, knowing what's coming
SadMage is burned with the fires of Hades
SadMage has been slain like you wouldn't believe
PanickedWarrior: Here they come
Necromancer feigns death
Shadowknight feigns death
Monk feigns death
Druid gates away
Ranger sits down and waits to die
Wizard evacs
Cleric wishes she had picked wizard for her group
Bard has been slain before he knew what hit him
Enchanter begins to cast a spell
Warrior has been slain like paper before the Whitewater investigation
Enchanter has cast a spell
CrowdODragons has been mezzed
Enchanter gates away
Casters gate away
PeopleWithoutGate sigh
PeopleWithoutGate are slain, roasted, and served with a white wine
CrowdODragons disperses
Necromancer stands and gates
Shadowknight can no longer play dead
Shadowknight is roasted by dragonfire
Shadowknight has been slain
Monk sighs


Getting started playing Everquest is quite a difficult task. Not only does a newbie have to learn the language, slang, and jargon of the game, but the player also has to learn how to adjust to the gameplay style and rules. In order to help everybody get accustomed to the game, we at Something Awful have addressed the most important concerns and issues that newbies have to deal with, and combined them all into one easy-to-follow article. Yes, within minutes you'll be acting like an experienced veteran in the lands of Norrath!




Character Creation:

A name is the most important aspect of your character. Make sure to choose a title that effectively "roleplays" your character's personality. For example, here's how to make a name for a Druid character: this class is very close to nature, and likes trees and the woods and various biodegradable things. Create a name that combines a stupid nature reference in category A with a goofy pseudo-verb in category B.
Category A: stupid nature references. Category B: goofy pseudo-verbs.
Moon
Sun
Tree
Leaf
Mist
Wolf
Star
Wynd
Jammer
Gater
Skymmer
Walker
Sweeper
Skypper


Optimal name combinations include "Moonskymmer", "Mistwalker", "Sunsweeper", and "Wolfwalker".

If you're one of the many 12-year olds who enjoy playing as a Necromancer, be sure to name yourself after your favorite Pokmon.
When choosing a name, try to use the letters "a", "e", and "h" as much as possible. Feel free to take your name and "roleplayify" it. For example, "Jason" turns into "Jahsaen", "Steve" can become "Staevah", and "Rob" is easily "Raehbeaahhea'aeah".
Warriors should all be named after a particularly violent action or verb. "Smasher", "Breaker", "Crusher", and "Basher" are all valid names. If you're playing as an Ogre Warrior, misspell the word as well (ie, "Smashur", "Breakur", "Crushar", "Bashur").
Since casting classes already start with a bonus in the INT and WIS categories, dump all your points into STR or STA. By doing this, you will create a caster who can not only throw around killer spells, but also whoop ass with weapons, the best of both worlds!
Remember: if you're a male, you can only play as a male character! If Verant or Sony finds out you're a male playing as a female, they will take away your account. This is so people can form deep and meaningful relationships while grouping, and eventually marry them on the server (and the notice can be sent to EQVault or Everlore). Since this rule is in place, you can be 100 percent sure that every woman on the server is actually a woman who you should befriend, in the hopes of getting her phone number and having cybersex with her over your favorite AOL chat channel.
Socials:

The "shout" channel is solely used to announce when you've gone up a level*. You should do this by typing "/shout DING! Level x!!!" where "x" is the level you just reached. People who don't know you are very concerned with what level you are, and you should always inform them of what level you just reached.

*Advanced newbies only: you can use the /shout channel to inform people when you've lost a level as well. Be sure to complain about "LAG" when doing so and make a sarcastic comment along the lines of "Gee, thanks Verant for making such a WONDERFUL game!".

You should shout this as soon as you start your character and enter the game. This is the true sign of Everquest Mastery.

Lag in Everquest hardly ever occurs. If you do experience lag, you should "/shout LAGGGGGG!", which will inform and warn all other characters. If the lag continues, you should "/shout This is ridiculous! I can't play with all this lag!" but you should continue to keep playing at all costs (very important). Proceed to periodically warn everybody of the lag every two minutes, and refuse to log out for the next six hours.
The /ooc (out of character) channel is used to ask what the function or purpose of every single item in the game is. Don't know what to do with those fire beetle eyes? Ask everybody on /ooc! Don't know what the stats are on that rusty scimitar? Chances are that somebody on /ooc will!
If you just logged in and are part of a super-k3wl guild, you should announce your presence over the /shout channel. Make sure your guild has a hilarious and witty greeting! For example, if your guild's name is the "Clan of the White Wolf", announce yourself by shouting "Hail Clan of the White Wolf! HOOOOOWWWWWWLLLL!" at which point all other guild members should respond with "HOOOOWWWWLLLLLL!" This will set your guild apart from the other, more inferior guilds, by demonstrating how organized and important your guild obviously is.
To make it easier for you, type in all acronyms. For example, if you need help in the Field of Bone, type "/shout NH FOB". If you're looking for an NPC merchant who you aren't Kill-on-sight to, type "/shout LF NPC M NotKOS". If you're looking for directions to the docks so you can go to Freeport in order to buy a Dragoon Dirk from a High Elf Cleric, type "/shout LF DirTO D4FP, NTB DD FromHEC".
Grouping is an important aspect of playing Everquest. If you'd like to group with somebody, find a person who's at least 20 levels higher to you (that way it'll be easier to gain experience in the group). Walk up to him, don't say anything, click on him and hit the "Invite" button to invite him to your group. If he doesn't respond or declines your offer, keep inviting him (he's just playing hard to get). Follow him around, repeatedly inviting him. If he doesn't accept your offer within the next 50 minutes, challenge him to a duel for being such an incredible jerk.
If you've got a magical weapon that you're trying to sell, start the bidding at a high price and work your way down. Did your friend get you a rare Tentacle Whip? Try selling it for 100 plat and just wait for the bids to come flowing in! If nobody has the money to spend, try lowering your price to something more reasonable, such as 70 plat and a set of Ivy Armor.
If you see a female character who needs help in combat, be sure to help her out at once! After you've saved her life, give her as many buffs and magical items as you can. If you do, she'll be incredibly attracted to you and will undoubtedly want to have sex with you in real life. As mentioned before, all people playing as female characters are really women in real life. If you see a guy who needs help, let him die, because he's probably just some gay weirdo who will stalk you or something afterwards.
Always remember: Everquest is a SOCIAL game! /Shout every single thought that comes to your mind, no matter how inane! Announce how much wieght you're carrying! Tell the world what level you are in swimming! Say "hi" to friends and guild members! Ask what time it is! Don't hold back!

If you've hit a new level and just got some brand new spells, immediately try them out on some creatures that con yellow or red to you. The spells are undoubtedly way more powerful than anything you've dealt with previously, and you're sure to kill anything in a few blasts! If it ends up killing you, it's because Verant obviously doesn't know jack shit about "balancing the game".
If fighting in a group, the sole function of everybody else in that group is to keep you from dying. Remind them of this repeatedly, and if you ever get below 85% health, start shouting that you need heals.
Instead of concentrating all damage on one creature, try to attack everything around you. You'll weaken them all down and just rake in the exp. with your killing spree! This goes well with our next point:
Area-effect spells are the best type of spells in the game. Use them at every chance!
Before going into combat, ask every single person in your zone for a SoW, regardless of their race or class. Since they have undoubtedly already cast Sow on themselves, and can run much faster than you, demand they come to you and cast it. If nobody responds, "/shout Sow plz!!!!!!" until you log off. Resume shouting next time you log back on. Once you get somebody to cast SoW on you, start shouting for another SoW, because it just might make you even faster.
When losing in combat, be sure to "/shout HELP". This is the quickest way to elicit a response from fellow characters, and hoards of GMs should rush over to your aid within seconds. If nobody responds, bind a key to "/shout HELP" and keep pressing it until you die. If you die, be sure to blame everybody in the zone for refusing to help you because they're obviously idiots.
Death / dying:

If you die, complain nonstop about how "Verant nerfed your spells" or about how "things were a LOT better before the last patch!" or how "Gordon screwed our class over SO BAD."
If you know you're going to die, try to bring all the monsters over to somebody meditating, in the hopes they he will kill them. Don't bother asking for help, because if a caster is meditating, he can still see all around him (it's a power everybody else has but you). Then, when you die and cause the person mediating to be killed by your train, make sure to curse at the other person for not helping you out and killing all the monsters (yes, that's right Skorpio on the E'ci server, I'm talking about you, you jerk).
Once you respawn, make sure to "/shout Anybdy c my corpse" over and over. Verant and Sony employ a team of hundreds of people to solely run around the servers, looking for and noting the location of every player's corpse. You'll have an exact location within seconds.
If you die while fighting in a group, blame every other member of the group. Complain to the Clerics for not healing you enough, bitch at the tanks for not taunting more effectively, and whine to everybody for agreeing to let a Bard in. This relates to the next point:
Death is NEVER your fault. Death is either the fault of your combat group, Verant, Internet connection, parents, computer speed, Gordon, weapon / class imbalances, the alignment of the stars, Hurricane Hugo, or the decline in tech stocks on the NASDAQ.
If you are killed by something that cons blue to you, it's obviously a bug on Verant's part. Petition it immediately, demanding you are given all your experience back ASAP. Oh, and an extra 50 platinum for your inconvenience.
Once you die, "/shout plz help!!!!! lost all my stuff to gnoll pup!!!!!!" and wait for those level 60 people to start showering you with platinum and weapons. Remember: everybody else playing EQ is there to help you!
Miscellaneous:

Thanks to some serious twinking by your high level buddies in the "Eternal Warriors of N'Yarthamgon'as" guild, you can safely solo red monsters. Find something red, then "/shout WHAT LVL ARE X?" where X = the red creature's name. If nobody responds, make sure to petition the GMs and complain about how rude everybody is. Or complain about virtually anything, just make sure to use the /petition command to say something.
There's lots of people who want to group with a level one character. When you first start up your player, immediately let everybody know you're a hot commodity and are on the market to group with a very lucky collection of people. Don't worry about spelling all the words correctly, they'll understand what you mean.

The character "Mahon" knows he's got a lot to offer a group of people. Hopefully he'll only have to /shout 20 or 30 times before he finds that special bunch of EQ players!

When posting on Everquest-related messageboards, make sure you have a 100k plus animated gif sig file of your character's name. The more Photoshop plugins you use, the more elite it looks. I have provided three examples for you to look at and learn from:
Example one: Mistrunner the Druid. A basic design, with an exciting lens flare! Adding a lens flare effect instantly gives your name a "touch of class and intelligence", showing that you indeed have Photoshop and know how to use it like a pro!
Example two: Bonebreaker the Warrior. The design for Bonebreaker is a bit more complex, as I spent hours making it look like THE BACKGROUND WAS ACTUALLY BREAKING. This makes your character look tough and strong, almost as if he could BREAK THROUGH SOMETHING REALLY TOUGH! These two are nice, but they aren't quite good enough. That brings us to:
Example three: SylvyrMoon the Enchanter. Ah, finally, the perfect Everquest animated gif sig file! Notice the ultra-high framerate, 200k plus size, and shitload of plugin filters. This is truly a picture worthy of being on each and every EQ forum under your message about how Verant made Enchanters the worst and most unbalanced class in the history of mankind, and how if you ever meet Gordon on the streets you'll punch him in the face and steal your 10 bucks a month back.